


Lonely

by DivineVarod



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Cutesy, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Pre-Slash, Teddy Bears, Toys, lonelyness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 06:06:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6841912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivineVarod/pseuds/DivineVarod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rimmer has trouble sleeping Lister wants to find out why. What Rimmer reveals to him brings the pair closer. (Set between series 2&3)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely

“Hey Arn, I know you don't mean to, but just for once could you go to sleep without all the fidgeting and fussing?"

Rimmer looked up at Lister, disrupting his bed sequence. He was now wearing half a uniform shirt and half a pyjama top.  
  
“Oh …” he said sadly. “I'm sorry. I didn't know I was disturbing you. I'll try to be more quiet."

"It's not that you're noisy, man. But your lightbee keeps flashing."

Rimmer's face fell, clearly disturbed to be reminded of the technology buzzing inside him. The sad look in his eyes immediately made Lister regret bringing it up. 

“Oh, hey, it's okay. Must be more annoying for you, in a way. Not getting to sleep easily.”  
  
Rimmer blinked silently. Seeing the man's discomfort. Lister wished he'd been a bit more subtle.

“Is something bothering you Rimmer? Could I help …?”  
  
Rimmer's eyes lit up.  
  
“Well … I'm missing …” He cut himself of again, the light disappearing from his eyes. “No, never mind. It's stupid.”  
  
Lister walked up to Rimmer and faced him. He near touched the Hologram's projected shoulder in a vain attempt at giving physical comfort.  
  
“No Rimmer, it isn't. If it keeps you awake at night and I can help you it isn't stupid. What do you need?”  
  
Moved by Lister's kind, genuine voice and seeing an earnest look in his eyes Rimmer felt safe to speak.

“My teddybear …” Rimmer muttered softly. 

The Hologram automatically flinched saying these words expecting to be mocked, probably. But Lister did not. He had to bite his tongue but seeing the sadness in the Hologram's face and knowing how fragile his trust was stopped him from blurting out something stupid.

"Your teddybear, Arn?" He tried, hoping to get something more from him.

Rimmer nodded.

“I miss him so much. Dennis, our gardener, gave him to me. He was the only one who was always nice to me. The only one who listened to me. I told him I was scared to go to boarding-school and the next day he gave me a little military bear. He told me the bear would protect me. He was the only toy I ever had that was mine – that had not been owned by anyone else. I sneaked him into the attic and slept with him ever since. He was soft and warm and kept me from being completely on my own. I think he's been my only friend, the only one that never deserted me, never insulted me.”

“Ever since? But Arn, I've bunked with you forever, I never saw no bear.”  
  
“When I was assigned bunkmates my first bunkmate laughed at me, said he'd never take orders from a grown man sleeping with a teddy. I hid him after that. Put him in my locker before anyone woke up and under my pillow as I slept. That's when I begun to put my hand under my head, well, my pillow then, so I could feel him when I slept, it was some sort of comfort. I just feel so uncomfortable on my own."

Seeing Rimmer so vulnerable melted Lister.  
  
“It's still in the locker now, then Arn?” Lister asked softly. Rimmer nodded.

“Want me to take it out?"

“Would you do that for me?”

“Course. Why didn't you ask me before?”

“I didn't want you to laugh at me.”

“Why would I laugh? I still watch cartoons and suck me thumb in my sleep. Nothing to be ashamed of. Come on, let's get your Teddy.”

Walking to Rimmer's locker in silence, Lister thought about what the Hologram had said and felt sorry that Rimmer had been so lonely for so long. He could relate, he had been lonely too. He looked at Rimmer and had the desire to reach out. This was stupid: they were together, they did not need to be lonely.

"Thank you Listy."

Rimmer's rare genuine smile of relief and gratitude when reunited with his bear beamed it's way in Lister's heart. He felt it so strongly it almost hurt. If he wanted to reach out and bridge the gap between them it had to be now.

"You know, Arn ... that Teddy ..."

"Yes ..."

"It doesn't have to be your  _only_ friend you know ..."  
  
So on his first night out of the locker Rimmer's Teddy sat alone in the lower bunk, as Rimmer slept in the top one. A soft arm breaking through his projection, a warm hand holding his lightbee the Hologram slept peacefully for the first time in years. He finally felt safe knowing he had someone who watched over him.


End file.
